I’m Such a Cliché

It’s been months since I’ve written, mainly because I felt so low on myself I thought even my writing had suffered. I never realised that was such a big thing, perhaps I should’ve considering writing is my ‘thing’. Maybe it isn’t in the conventional manner, but words in all forms are. So we’re now in …

I Can Finally Sleep

My partner has started his new job (side note: super proud of him becoming a teaching assistant) which means I have all this time to myself. Honestly, I was looking forward to it because I’ve always been a loner and I’m still enjoying time to myself because I’m able to nap which is something I …

I’m Learning

The more I research, the more I realise just how offensive the term ‘high-functioning autism’ is. This gives people the idea that we can function and don’t struggle, therefore our meltdowns aren’t justified because we’re high-functioning? This is the biggest hurdle I’m trying to get over and show to people, but then I’m faced with …

Alexithymia…

A new word I recently learnt. It means to have difficulty in experiencing, describing and expressing emotional responses. In other words when I’m asked a million times a day ‘how are you feeling?’ And I respond with ‘I don’t know’ I genuinely mean I don’t know. I’m not trying to throw anybody off or be …

Am I Better Alone?

I often ask myself ‘am I better alone?’ As I struggle with day to day, then the added pressure of a relationship. It’s nothing new that people on the spectrum struggle with relationships, especially romantic ones. For me it’s always felt as though I’ve had to hide myself, and pretend to be ‘normal’ which has …

We Always Win

One thing I’ve learnt about us atypicals is just how resilient we are. When faced with something stressful we seemingly get on with it. Sure, having coffee when it’s routine to have tea in a morning may become stressful but we can deal with a whole range of things thrown at us. Recently I felt …

All I Can Do Is Be In Awe

It may be obvious to some, but taking control of myself has never been an easy task. From the moment I was born my every move has been dictated to. It wasn’t until I met the love of my life (yes, it’s cheesy but when you’ve experienced that it’s no longer the cheese fest you’d …

Relationships

Being in a relationship has never been easy for me. I never understood why, it was either I would find somebody who would ultimately abuse me or I would pre-emptively sabotage it. I could never take that step back before it got too bad and truly understand where it was going wrong. It’s only until …

Fear

The title may suggest a negative post, however, it’s far from that. I’ve overcome a lot of fear recently. I was afraid to speak out at work, but I did it and with that came some amazing outcomes where I’ve been given more responsibility and helped a lot of people speak out too. I knew …

A Whole Lot of Crazy

I’ve been deliberating whether to write about something so personal and so... difficult? I want to get as far away from my past as possible, and leave those who belong in the past, well and truly in the past. But sometimes it’s relevant, especially to understand your own progression. I’ve not been doing too good …